Friday, August 25, 2006

Children conceived by donors struggle as adults

People who think it is their "right" to have a child or "right" to be pregnant no matter how "alternative" their living circumstances, should read Buffalo Girl's blog. Buffalo Girl is a woman who was conceived by an anonymous donor and is now dealing with the emotional ramifications of her conception.

Donor conceived people struggle with their identity, after years of being told that their donor parent merely donated a "cell"--end of story. It is far from the end of the story for these people who have had half of their heritage belittled for their entire lives.

Buffalo Girl also shows pictures of herself from the age of 2 to adulthood. She even mourns the loss of the ears she was born with, after her mother had them pinned back when she was 7. She has chosen to leave her own children's ears the way they are.

Children are a gift from God and should be loved and accepted as they are--not designed to fit our tastes and lives like window curtains to be thrown out when they no longer suit us.


Unknown said...

Wow, more of this sort of stuff should be around. Because this whole donors thing is absolutely sad. I cannot imagine the pain of not knowing "who" I came from, where I got the shape of my ears, nose mouth etc. And the "do I belong?" questions.
I feel for buffalo girl, but she does have God who is the perfect parent.
Thanks for this.

Staying in Balance said...

That's something heartening for us all, Carmel--we all have God, who is the perfect parent.

Anonymous said...

My child was conceived (with my female partner), using a known doner. We know where he is at all times, so we are always ready should she decide she wants to meet him. She hasn't yet (she's 15). The 2 mother thing has started to be a small issue, but she loves both of us very much. We lost the 2nd child by the same father, and I think having a sibling would have been a great thing for her, particularly after we pass on. She is talented, smart and beautiful, and we share a birthday, which was a sign from heaven. Let's not over-generalize here. We are all God's children and we all struggle with life's issues everyday.

Staying in Balance said...

That's true, Spunkygal. We are all God's children, that's for sure. Some do overgeneralize to the point of not being supportive of adoptions and I think that may be too extreme a stance to take. As you said, we all have issues.

Unknown said...

I agree with not over generalizing too spunkygirl. It sounds like you have thought out your childs possible questions and have the father nearby, that is very thoughtful, should she wish to find out.

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