Whoever says, "I know Him," but does not keep His
commandments is a liar, and the truth is not in him. But whoever keeps His word, the love of God is truly perfected in him. This is the way we may know that we are in union with Him: whoever claims to abide in Him ought to walk just as He walked.
Following the Lord is worth it. Being in union with God is worth whatever it takes. Keep trying. God always take us back.