Tuesday, February 18, 2014

And the Wisdom to Know the Difference

I've been thinking lately, of connections and relationships.  When one gets to the age that I currently am, one begins to think back over the relationships, both intense and casual, that occur over a lifetime.

In my own case, I spent a good number of years learning how to set healthy boundaries.  This was a long and hard-won process and I am just now able to come out the other side with a little perspective.

While healthy boundaries are crucial, relationships are even more important.  Which ones have been let go?  Which ones have lasted?  Why?

The arrival of instant communication and a decided lack of modern privacy have the benefit of being able to reunite us with people we had perhaps lost touch with for various reasons. Sometimes upon communicating, we remember why we lost touch, and other times it can become a precious and renewed kinship. Other times, attempts at re-connection come too late for this side of the veil.

I've been thinking of the Benedictine vow of stability in all this. In what ways have we been stable?  The art of letting go is an important one to learn--more important as we get older and realize what our true priorities are.  But, there is value in stability.  I am so very grateful for the relationships in my life that have lasted, in spite of all my faults and shortcomings. I shudder to think what my life would be like if I didn't have these family members and friends who have stuck with me all these imperfect years.

We need to pray for "the wisdom to know the difference" between healthy boundaries/letting go and letting people into our private shells that we build to keep ourselves safe.

1 comment:

Michele said...

Very true! Well spoken! Sometimes, for me, letting go is necessary. Not all those who claimed to be my friend have been honest with me.

I had to re evaluate that friendship, and come to the conclusion that it wasn't worth it in the long run.

But, i am definitely grateful for my family, my husband, and those whom have always been real with me.

Dymphna's favorite quotes

"Slavery ended in medieval Europe only because the church extended its sacraments to all slaves and then managed to impose a ban on the enslavement of Christians (and of Jews). Within the context of medieval Europe, that prohibition was effectively a rule of universal abolition. "— Rodney Stark

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