A police officer pulls an elderly woman over for speeding.
He asks to see her driver's license. She says, "Oh. I don't have it anymore. They took it away after I got too many DUI's."
The officer then asks for her registration.
"That's a problem too, I'm afraid. You see, this isn't really my car. The neighbors park it in front of my house and leave the keys in it. So, sometimes I 'borrow' it to run errands."
Well, the officer tells her, "I'm afraid you can't drive this car home, then. Give me your husband's number and I'll call him to pick you up at the station."
"I can't do that either, officer. We haven't been getting along very well, and I put him in the trunk of the car."
The officer backs away from the window and calls for backup. The sergeant comes to the scene and says to the woman,
"Madame, this officer tells me that you don't have a valid driver's license."
She says, "Oh, yes I do. Here it is, in my purse."
The sergeant then says, "The officer also tells me that this isn't your car and you don't have registration for it."
She tells him, "Of course I do. It is right here in the glove box" and proceeds to hand it to him.
The sergeant then asks if she would please open the trunk of the car.
She says, "Yes, of course."
He looks in, and it is empty. Puzzled, he says, "Well, I'm confused. This officer told me that you had your husband's body in the trunk of the car."
Scoffing, she says, "Yeah, and I bet the idiot also tried to tell you I was speeding, too!"
LOL. I'll have to remember that one!